inner dialogue

HER:

i don't like autumn.

these autumn leaves on the ground keep reminding me of the fallen pieces of my life. my failures, lack of intelligence, of emotional regulation and this guy i met at my cousin’s wedding. ok ignore that last one, but it could have been something if he hadn’t turned out to be my relative.

sometimes, when i get lost in thought like this; i come here and just stare out at the lake. just look at the slowly moving water, feel my thoughts melt away, my eyes becoming relaxed. i can slowly feel my breath.

i feel as i grow older, i am gaining more affinity for nature. i feel more one with it. maybe it’s just my growing love-hate relationship with screens that i value nature more now.

there’s something very relaxing about sunsets. walking on this path, looking at the sun feels like a chapter in my life is closing. i have a feeling something new, something exciting is going to come up.

HIM:

i took a mini sabbatical to finally work on this book i always wanted to write. feels liberating to freely explore and do what i wanna do. no slack. no pr reviews. no one to talk to. it’s kinda nice. just me and my notebook.

my only companion here is my shadow.

few days later…

i made good progress on writing some chapters finally but i didn’t anticipate it would be this lonely here.

this funnily reminds me of the haiku

my own shadow
in the winter sun
blocking my way

now when i think, maybe it is talking about me coming in my way. ok, i actually shouldn’t think more about this.

anyways, it’s time for my tea, finally outside the house. the warmth of the tea helps me bear this cold weather.

oh damn, i think someone is coming my way.

HER: umm hello.

HIM: hi. (pauses, surprised. wait i didn’t expect someone here, should i invite her for tea) w—would you like some tea